


i met you in the velvet light, who knew we'd ever say goodnight

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Deleting later, M/M, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, dramatic 4 NO REASON!!, ermm kinda, i just need more tags, teen n up for a Single use of strong language, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23063650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As Kageyama finds, that pain will never truly go away.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	i met you in the velvet light, who knew we'd ever say goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy................... oh man........... hello. i was about 2 go 2 sleep and my eyes opened up like that one squidward meme and i was like "I Want To Write" life is hard and i am venting and making fictional characters sufer when i say this is bad this is Bad like its 4am rn and my fingers arent working anuymroe i can barely typoe anyway im so sorry for anyone reading this its not fun plus a headache from my lack of brainpower rn

Kageyama stands in the still room with Hinata, pink light leaking through a sliver of a curtain as the sun sets, keeping her promise for a new day.

Hinata sat against Kageyamas bed frame, head slumped to the side from practice. They had been released early due to them having to leave early for a game the next day. Usually, on nights before, Hinata would sleep over at Kageyamas house.

It was really hard not to stare at Hinata at these hours, Kageyama had found over the course of his staying over. It was hard not to stare at the way the light danced on his face, casting a shadow he never saw outside of the confinements of his bedroom. It was really hard not to stare at Hinatas smile while they shared an inside joke. It was hard not to stare at him in the morning when the orange hues shone on him as Kageyamas mind ran a mile a minute, just thinking.

Kageyama would think a lot, more often than not, he would shut the thoughts out from shame, not knowing what he would do if someone found out he was in love with his best friend.

It would be a nightmare if his true feelings were revealed. The whole team wouldn’t treat him the same, Hinata probably wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, he would dread going to practice after school. Everything he had cherished most would be gone, and he just couldn’t risk it.

The only one who knows his secrets are the four walls that watch him think, that see him give those glances to Hinata, the only ones who have seen his feelings progress and blossom. He knows they’ll keep his secret, the only one who could give it away is him. And anyone who gives Kageyamas face attention around the other for more than a second could figure it out.

Days come and go, more nights spent giggling with stolen stares, more practices spent admiring every fluid movement of the redhead, more walks home spent in comfortable silence as hands brush against one another.

It was beautiful torture in the way that Kageyama would go about it. He would overthink every single movement, every single word said to him, the way eyes would gloss over him and not give him a spare thought. He relished in it, hating himself a little more every single time, but never stopping.

Hinata was a candle in the dark, guiding Kageyama through everything. Through his wide smiles and gentle mannerisms, Kageyama had found comfort in soft edges and kind words, it was a shield from the reality of what he felt.

Hinata was a breath of relief in the midst of a storm, a calming presence that kept him to earth and made him feel like someone was finally there, he wasn’t alone. Not on the court, nor in his personal life.

Hinata filled his life with luminosity and casted a shadow of warmth and tenderness to his life.

Then, Hinata started dating Kenma Kozume

He found out through a text message, a one filled with loads of exclamation points and emojis. 

He felt like a child about to have a tantrum, he felt so stupid for feeling so upset, especially about something he had no control over.

A heavy weight sat in his chest, as he set his phone down. His room suddenly felt dark as the back of his eyes started to ache. He wanted to sob, but it wouldn’t release.

Kageyama had no clue on how to discern his feelings, he didn’t know how to digest the information, he didn’t know what he should do now. His vision started to blur, everything had become foggy.

Everything had started to become unfamiliar, his room that was filled with so much radiating light whenever the redhead stepped in had become unwelcoming, like a place in a dream.

Who could he call? Should he even tell anybody? Who would care to listen? Who could know?

Nobody… nobody could know about anything at the risk of Kageyama losing his best friend and tearing the team apart. It would ruin everything, and it would never be the same and he knew it.

Best friend, the term made him laugh a dry laugh. A laugh with no humor behind it.

He looked around slowly, trying to see if he could grasp onto anything for just a sense of familiarity, anything to bring him back down to earth and not in the stratosphere of his mind.

All he could grasp at was the edge of his shirt that started to become wrinkled in his fist.

It was agonizing, the way Kageyama felt. Like everything was falling apart around him, piece by piece it was falling into the void and he couldn’t grasp onto anything, he couldn’t find a single thing that could stay.

He shut his eyes for a few moments, a deep breath going through him.

Hinata had slipped through his fingers in a matter of seconds, but it was never like Hinata was ever his.

And like a dam breaking after years of cracks forming, Kageyama had felt the warm tears start to run down his face.

It was a cathartic release, tears streaming down his face as he hiccuped and tried to breathe, but even doing that was near impossible. His hands found their way to his eyes as he tried to stop it, but they wouldn’t stop forming and spilling over.

“I’m… I’m such an idiot.” He managed to let out through choked sounds. “Fuck!”

He had never truly sobbed, he couldn’t begin to understand what was happening to his body.

Kageyama soons find himself breathing again as his hiccups died down and tears only came in slow rolls down his cheek.

His head was pounding, and everything had become foggy again.

Hinata was never his, and he never would be. He was a fool for ever believing that something could happen.

Kageyama was lost beyond words, he had no clue what he was supposed to do.

What do you do when you fall in love with someone you will never have?

It was slow and agonizing, a pain that remains even after weeks.

And as Kageyama finds, that pain will never truly go away. It sticks with him like a pest, always camping out in the back of his mind.

And soon enough, those nightly walks and stolen glances in his room at nightfall become a single pair of feet hitting the concrete and a barren room at dusk.

He’s run out of tears as it turns spring, the school year nearing its end. Hinata will never need him the way he used to, and he’s learned that it’s alright.

It’s alright, as he lays in an empty bed the night before a game, Kageyama takes a deep breath.

And that’s all he can do. Take a deep breath and let the curtains close on the warm eyes and tender touches that used to occupy his days.

**Author's Note:**

> if you read that again, I am sorry!!!!!!! but thank you so much and i hope to see you again <3


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